Thursday, January 31, 2013

Day #29

Boy, was he sleepy that particular morning. Barely made it in time for office (not early enough to kick start his work) so he had to rush up some reports and clear some backlogs. Being caught up the whole morning, he barely had time to get his cup of tea. She texted that she was unhappy at work. He asked if she was alright and if she wanted to talk it out. She said she's in a meeting and will talk about it later. In that moment, he hoped that everything will be alright on her end; at the very least until the end of the day.

He had an important appointment that afternoon, because it's consider another major deal for him. Prepared the documents and went in. Within an hour, he was out of the meeting with a big smile! He was 90% sure he would be able to secure the deal. Then, he got a text from his ex-classmate on a favor to look for a venue for a fashion showcase. His ex-classmate also notified him that another ex-classmate will be back in KL this weekend, and they are all planning for a CNY reunion; told him to wait for good news.

Got back to office in time to complete some paperwork and he received a text from her. Somehow, she seemed to have misunderstood something about him. A pretty complicated thing because he didn't exactly put on the best impression from the beginning. But he wasn't too happy about the fact that his integrity was being questioned. He knew explaining wouldn't make a difference. He just left it at there. Time will reveal the truth, his steadfast belief.

But the incident affected his work for the remaining evening. It's alright coming from others, but he'd never expect her to think of him in that way. Guess it hurts more when someone whom you care a lot about, turns around and doubts you. For the first time, he snapped at his colleague. He was outraged. Only later that evening, when he came to his senses, he realized that he shouldn't be angry at all. She had every right to do so, because he didn't exactly had any solid proof nor a good impression to begin with. He put himself in her shoes and looked from her point of view, and he could see how she would have misunderstood the situation. He hopes that she is able to look pass the surface to figure out what happened.

It was no incident to keep at heart. And there's nothing he could do. So he continued his work, in a calmer manner. He did all he could until he was tired enough. Did some minor exercises and quickly prayed that things for her at work would go smoothly. He wishes that the waves of luck, success and awesomeness would flood into her vibes.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Day #28

Work resumed - can't escape it unless one stops working and has other sources of income. He hasn't built his business large enough to be able to quit the job and enjoy life the way he wants to. He went into office with a sort of determination to make something happen. And he did.

One of the major deals was signed off so the next step is to collect the payment *Applause*; a few more are on their way, progress showed very positive flow and very likely to be happy and successful ones.

She had a busy morning as well. But on the way to work, she sprained her wrist (not sure if 'sprain' was the right word) and he was very worried about it. He suggested that she should see a doctor, but she's reluctant to do so. She insisted that she's alright and that she has to go for a meeting - he guessed it must be a big meeting. He told her to take care of the hand, and wished her all the best in the meeting.

He continued his work. It became a little draggy as soon as it passed lunch hour. His afternoon appointment got postponed, but his schedule was still packed with loads of work. It lasted until 8PM plus and only then he knew that he had missed out on his dinner. But he didn't feel very hungry, so he went to get some light snacks and continued working until his eyes could no longer take it. By then, he had to call it a night, pack up and headed home.

He wondered if she was alright, but he realized it was a tad bit late to call her. He just dropped her a text and gazed to the ceiling. Many thoughts came about - her, work, future, plans, goals, etc. And within moments, he felt asleep unknowingly.

Day #27

It's a Monday and a holiday! Woke up to the phone rings of his buddy who was supposedly to deliver a new laptop to him the day before. He went to meet his buddy, brought the new laptop home (the laptop was for his client) and started working on the optimization. His back was still a little sore, but he managed to find a way to work it around. Connected his equipment together, and started the optimizing process.

She texted him to see if he was awake. He replied back telling her how he woke up. She was about to go out with her family then. He had no where to go, 'cause he wanted to clean up his room and get the laptop done as soon as he can, so that he can proceed with his office works thereafter.

The moment he realized it, it was already dinner time. Everything's almost done. She told him that she bought a few more pieces of clothes. He could feel the excitement from her on his end of the phone. It got her pretty worn out and she had to nap. He laughed from the other side of the phone. He chilled out the entire night just enjoying the off time. He felt good 'cause he had done the necessary work to prepare for the next day.

It was a simple day for him. He was rather happy. Had a rather good sleep that night.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Day #26

Couldn't wake up for early breakfast as he had trouble sleeping. He felt like crap trying to get out of bed. Thankfully the facilitators were very nice to prolong breakfast hours for the group. He was very grateful to the coordinators for being understanding.

They had their breakfast, and a good morning chat with the facilitator. Then, it was time to say good bye to the place and hello to city life again. He might actually miss the place because it was a good getaway from busy town life, but he knows he appreciates the phone services more, back in town.

Packed their begs and headed home separately. He had to send his colleague back first. Knowing that his back isn't in the best of shape, he drove a little faster than usual and managed to reached town in less than 1.5 hours. Texted both his mum and her that he has safely reached town. Thereafter, he headed back home to get a good rest.

She then replied saying that she was a little bored and suggested a couple of stuffs to do. After shooting out some ideas, she finally decided on KFC and movie at her place with her best buddy and him. He then went to pick her best buddy up and went hunting for the food from one place to another. Had to make sure the chickens were the last on list because wanted to eat it while its still hot.

Arrived at her place slightly later than planned, and he immediately helped set up the TV and cables. She was brilliant at the planning! They all enjoyed the food and movie - they watched 2 movies and had plenty of chickens & wedges. But his back wasn't feeling comfortable at all, he couldn't sit still for long - it almost felt like he was too fidgety. He hopes she didn't noticed that. Thankfully, the food portion was enough for her and her family as well. Unfortunately, her family members had their dinner before they came back, leaving her, her best buddy and him to eat more. So her family just joined in for the movies only. They all had a good laugh. Quietly, he peeked at her a few times because he likes to see her laugh and smile - it makes him happy and she's truly beautiful that way. When she caught him looking at her, he just smiled and looks away (didn't want to be rude or anything).

After that, she invited her best buddy and him to join her for a drink with her old time friends. Naturally he agreed to it; her best buddy was alright with it too. During the drive there, he made a supposedly friendly comment about communicating with her father but it didn't go too well. He could have phrased it better so that she wouldn't have misunderstood what he meant. It was an awkward silence for them in the car for a couple of minutes. He wasn't a fan of silence but he didn't want to say anything further that might make things worse, and so he kept quiet, until she suggested to find parking at a slightly further place. He was thankful that she broke the silence because it also meant that she might have cut him some slack on that. He slowly exhaled in relief. Her best buddy told him that she had never seen her like that before. He then realized how much she loved her family and understands that he has to be more cautious about his words. He then apologizes to her.

They joined in the her group of friends for a chat. They all happily laughed and enjoyed the chat. Jolly time passes pretty quickly, and it was the end of the night for a few of them. The remaining people in the group decided to grab some supper and they headed to the cafe across the street. They continued their chat there until it was somewhat pretty late for everyone else.

He kept an eye on her, to see if she was totally cool or still angry at him, but she seemed pretty alright throughout the night. At the same time, somehow he felt there was something strange going on between her and some of them - it's like one of the guys were more than friends with her at a stage before this. Probably nothing, but his instincts tells him there's something lurking about. She was pretty sensitive with some comments made about him, and that gave him a bigger hunch about his feelings. Well, since he couldn't do anything about it anyways, so he decided to just let it go (never act upon gut feel without any solid or concrete back up, otherwise it'll be a regret). Her friend offered to send her back; He sent her best friend back and quickly hurried home to get some good shut eye (didn't want to think too much).

He prayed that whatever it is that might come, may it be a good thing for her and that she is always protected from harm.

Day #25

Woke up early to the banging sounds of his room mates who were up and ready for the first activity of the day - Breakfast! Honestly, he felt the food were just in a repeat loop of rice, chicken, fish, eggs, mixed vege. "keropok" and watermelon for dessert (only minor difference was the style of cooking) but he wasn't complaining about it because he had 2-3 servings each meal. He was a very satisfied customer. Think that's because he was so hungry after every other sports. After breakfast, the group headed out to the waterfall abseiling location. He was excited! Though not his first time being at a waterfall, but it was surely his first for abseiling, and at the waterfall too! He was all fired up! With his prior knowledge in the outdoor equipment, he helped his group to put on and fasten their carabiners and harnesses. He was the first in line to abseil the waterfall. It was pretty easy for him at medium level. He enjoyed the experience there. After him was his team mates, and he went in again, last. The facilitator told him that to try the hard level because it would be a shame to miss it out. He thought it'd be a waste to come all the way there and missed it, so he went for it. He didn't expect it to be a huge difference from the medium level - losing grip and standing position during his abseiling made him crashed into the rocks a few times. He injured his arm and back without knowing it and thankfully there were no bruises.

Then it was lunch and paintball match! He was hyped for paintball because he knew he was good at it (even though he had only played it once). The team called him the sharpshooter because he had 5 headshots from a distance and a couple more accurate shots at his opponents from strategic locations. That being said, he wasn't the best player because he was shot out of the game, twice (no point being that good if you got shot, twice!). It was a thrill for him because the last time he played paintball was a year or two ago.

Next, one of the group members challenged him for a sprint, back at the hut where they were staying. Naturally, being an all-rounder and pretty fit, he won the sprint. But the sprint took a toll on his body, because right after that, he was extremely exhausted already. They had one more activity after dinner which is jungle trekking and he refuses to go for it. Luck was on his side, because it poured very heavily during dinner and the evening activity had to be cancelled. The ladies in the group all headed back after dinner (before it turned dark) because they had plans to be with their family for Sunday & Monday. So it was only the guys left at the place, and they all decided to play friendly *coughs* card games *coughs*. The game lasted till 2am or so. Half of them went to watch football, while he and the others went back to their huts and sleep in.

Back at the hut, he wondered if her party went well, and checked if his message to her earlier that evening would have reached her. Nevertheless he hopes it was good and she would have been proud about it. Prayed her efforts would be recognized and accredited for, he then fell asleep soon after he was done. His back was hurting terribly that night, and he was struggling to find a comfortable position.

Day #24

With only a couple of hours of shut-eye, he still managed to get into the hype of the whole company trip thing. Did his last minute checking of items, send out couple of text to her and others, before jumping into the car and starting his journey.

Picked up his colleagues from a rendezvous point, and they headed straight to the destination. It was about a 2-hours journey, with some stops in between to get breakfast. He reached a group-meet-up point pretty early and waited for the rest to arrive. When most of them were around, they headed to the place. The remaining ones decided to directly meet at the location because they were already late.

As soon as they reached the place, it was lunch time already. They unloaded their luggage and immediately had their lunch. Right after that, they started their first activity - Obstacles, a series of challenges from rope crossing, steps across a lake, commando crawl to climbing a tall hurdle. He was hyped, and he managed to complete the challenge within a short time and went for the repeat them a few times to help his colleagues out. They were in groups and they had to work as a team to ensure no one gets left behind and every one has a fair chance at the obstacles. So, he and his group mates plan out a scheme to make it in the quickest and most effective manner.

After Obstacles, immediately was Kayaking. Tiring but fun, because it was the first time for everyone on the team. Everyone who observed commented; every one else who commented, when it was their turn, made the same mistakes and others were commenting back - like an endless cycle of pot calling the kettle black.

Subsequently, everyone had their dinner. He had 2-3 servings each meal that day. Tired and very full, he thought after dinner he would be heading to a very nice bed like a happy man on vacation. Little did he know that after dinner there would be a karaoke session - everyone had to participate, whether they like it or not. He was almost already on the verge of losing his voice, no thanks to the encouraging screams he made earlier that day; but for the people and the fun, he sang along even though he was cracking his voice 11 out of 10 songs (yes, pun intended).

Whilst the day and night was seemingly fun, he was a lil frustrated that he couldn't get a good reception there. Wanted to text her and call his mum, but due to poor reception, he couldn't even dial out or text anyone when he want too. His text messages only could be sent out hours later. He messaged his bestie to wish her happy birthday, but his bestie only received it minutes before it ends.

All activities for the day ended by about midnight, and everyone went back to their own huts - yes huts, he thought it would be a resort (hotel style) so he didn't bring much toiletries. Had to borrow his room mates' towel and body shampoo. He was a little disappointed that he didn't take the effort to research the place a little more. But nevertheless, it was a good experience for him. He's looking forward to the next day's activities - waterfall abseiling and paintball. Luckily he didn't invited her along for this, because she wouldn't have liked it - outdoor with lots of mosquitoes! But he felt she was a little worked up as he remembered she mentioned about work parcel not arriving on time. He just prayed that things would be alright for her and thereafter he went to bed.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Day #23

It's a public holiday! But, they both had to work. Well, he did work at home voluntarily, but she had no choice. She was bogged down meetings after meetings, running from one place to another. He went on with his work, one piece after another. After that, sorted out his closet.

As he did a run check on his clothes, he reflected on his past, present and his plans about the future. Long story short, he spent a good two to three hours moving out the old clothes to make rooms for the new ones.

Then, he remembered that she wanted to borrow his camera for the weekend for the party which her boss had planned for. Between his company trip and her party, logically speaking he'd like to have the camera to capture moments with his colleagues. But then again, he thought to himself, he can't be taking pictures and playing at the same time - too much hassle. So, he made that the reason to lend her the camera. Plus, he didn't want to take up the responsibilities of taking picture of every single session - it's about time to pass or tai-chi around the job of the photographer to other team mates *laughs*.

In the midst of the day, he suddenly found his monitor screen was flickering at an interval of few seconds. It was horrible! Panicked, he called his mate who is very familiar with computer stuffs and inquired about the problem. He was told he needed to change the monitor if the problem still persist even after the troubleshooting it properly. He wasn't too pleased hearing that, because he knew that he had to then spend another lump sum of money to get a replacement if it was a hardware fault.

That evening he made an appointment with his mate to get the replacement set. He made a deal with his mate to buy his mate's unit (yes it is used, but only a couple of months and the warranty is 3 years more to go) for a much cheaper price than getting a new set. He was happy 'cause not only did he resolved the issue, but he saved up on buying a new set.

After that, he went over to meet her to pass her the camera. Not surprised when he found out that she was still out on the work. So, he waited for her. He went for supper at the nearby mamak and watched whatever show that was on TV, while waiting for her discussion to finish. He was a little worried that if her discussion ended too late, it would be dangerous for her to drive back. Initially, he thought of catching a quick drink with her, but looking at the time at that moment, he figured it isn't wise to do so because she needed rest. Besides, he had to go back and pack his bags for the trip.

By the time her meeting ended, she was very tired (expected already). She just wanted to go back and get some good rest. He agreed of course. When she got home, he quickly passed the camera to her and then headed back to his home. He had to set up the new monitor and ensure all the calibrations are done before he leaves for the company trip in the morning. He made sure that his bags are packed and he has all the necessary items for the trip. By the time, he was done with his packing, it's only 2 hours before he goes on the road. Well, he could not be bothered about it. Before he slept, he just make his usual nightly prayers for her.

Day #22

Woke up extremely early because he knew that that is the day! - The day he'll be closing the first big deal of the year! Funny thing is too because it is also the first time he was earlier than his manager. Anxiously he went up and down a few times, managed to get a cup of coffee and had a light breakfast altogether, and the door was still not open yet. So he sat outside awaiting patiently. 15 minutes later, he saw his colleague and not long after he was in the office already.

As soon as his work starts, he did as much as he could to quickly finish up the task he had. At the same time, he was praying that his deal would come true and he would get some breather by end of the day.

Texted her to hear how she was doing. She replied him and shared with him that the project that they had worked on didn't received much of a review to it *gulps*. He thought probably he didn't deliver a good job, but he told her that it's alright, seeing how short a time they did it, it was good enough. During their conversation, he was hoping his good energy from his work could flow into hers and make her day better.

Nearing the end of the day, it was all panic and rush hour! Calls had to be made, appointments were pushed off, meetings were called, requirements had to be finalized and a couple of proposals had to be produced before 5.30pm. He thinks he had surpassed his own limit of "multitasking" the projects by completing 5 separate proposals on time. A little hiccup here and there but he managed to pull through. He quickly told her about his good news as soon as he had gotten the confirmation of a successful deal. He bugged his operations team and unintentionally made them stay a little longer after office hours. He is very thankful that they didn't make a fuss out of it, and instead helped him without questions.

He had to stay back to finish up the remaining works he had because for the next couple of days, he and his colleagues will be off on a company trip and won't be back to office until the following Tuesday. Now, that's a long pause of work, and he realized that if he didn't do at least some portion of the work, then come Tuesday, he'll be fried! But throughout his overtime work, he fell asleep without knowing it a couple of times, only to wake up 15 minutes or so after each time.

Then she buzzed him, asking if he wanted to go out for a drink with their friends. He was saved! He immediately said yes. But the drink-time was still long away, and he wondered where he could possibly bump out for a short power nap - he was dead exhausted actually (mentally and physically). So, he went to his&her buddy's place for a quick forty wings, then picked her up (his&her buddy was driving) and off they headed downtown to party! Though he didn't quite get a good look at her, but a glimpse of her tells him that she looks absolutely stunning.

He was doing his best trying to stay awake and "alive", didn't want to buzz-kill the hype. His&her buddy (the driver), was stoning most of the time, with some occasional hype here and there. By the time they reached the destination, they were a little frustrated 'cause of the slow traffic and the wait at the venue. He was getting a little impatient, his&her buddy was stoning to his cigars, and she was pretty excited. He had to keep himself together, otherwise he'd be walking on the "wrong lane" again. (Don't screw up bro, don't screw it)

Not long after that, they were joined by her colleague and friend. Together they all waited another good half an hour or more, before deciding to grab a bite together. 2 hours passed by and he still has no idea what they were doing outside and not in the place. He felt his mind was drifting away, but he didn't want to. So, he found ways that could keep his mind back on track - Lame jokes, silly remarks, act cool, whatever it takes to stay on. He is determined *laughs*. Suddenly, she recalled she left her IC in the car, and boy was he suddenly awake. Immediately he went to get her the IC because it is very crucial especially in downtown KL.

They finally got into the party, but in less than 10 minutes they were out again. This time he is really clueless, but he just followed the crowd. She had some issues with her heels and needed help to balance herself - not really used to the heels yet, especially when she is usually with the flats. She leaned mostly on his&her buddy. They then got themselves a table, where they had a light drink to toast and cheers for the night together! More chit chats, more stoning, and by the time they knew it, the place was about to close. It was near to dawn. They had to leave and head home.

Somehow, throughout the night out, he wasn't feeling comfortable. Not because he was tired (yea a little, but definitely not because of that) but he guessed it's because she was much closer to his&her buddy. He felt nearly out of place. Just feeling a little disappointed from some of her replies to her colleagues about him. Though he knew she was only joking and meant nothing unpleasant, but that moment, it didn't feel good or nice to him. She probably didn't know it anyway. Thankfully, he didn't react to that, but he was a little awkward thereafter. He's not mad at her or anything, but he didn't feel too good about it.

Don't think he'd be jealous about his&her buddy ('cause he knows him too well). After all, he and her weren't officially together or anything, but guessed it's a normal response for any guy regardless of what situation. Gotta give it to him 'cause he managed to actually keep it together that night. He'd rather have his time thinking and having her feeling comfortable and safe at the same time. Plus, it was a rather big night for her, so he just wanted to make sure that it stays that way.

After sending her back, he went home. Showered and cool off the not-so-nice-feelings, he continued with his prayers before continuing his work. He only managed to sleep when it was already dawn.

Day #21

Another early morning for himself, got to work as usual, but the load were just as similar as the day before. He knew he had limited time left to ensure that the deals that he is working on can and will be closed before the holidays start. Throughout the entire day, his eyes were only on his laptop and phone. On the side of his computer, he just kept an eye on his phone, just in case if she needs someone to chat with. Later that evening, he got a text from her as a favor to help her out on something. She said it was pretty urgent, and so he packed his stuffs and immediately head out to help her out. Well, he needed to get away from the office as well, so that was a good thing too. He had to pick up a friend before that. He then went to pick her up from her office. His friend tagged along the whole journey. Before that, he had briefly told his friend about her, on how amazing she is and only way to know that is to meet her. His friend couldn't be more surprised to have met her. His friend told him that he was a lucky guy and his friend went all excited for him. "You've found a treasure!" his friend said. He shyly nods and smiles in agreement. After all the matters were settled, he sent them home while a big smile on his face and then went back home himself feeling somewhat pretty good. That night somewhat was a good night for him. He figured his prayers might be working well, so he decides on with it, with hopes that all will go well for her.

Day #20

It's the start of a brand new week! This week onwards he had to go in extra early to work , due to his massive workload on his desk. Being fully concentrated at work, he didn't even have to worry about non-work related matters.

However, he was pretty sleepy that particular Monday. Well, the night before (yes the night of the weekend where he blew it), she called him. She poured out her heart and cried saying that it's been so difficult and stressful, to hang on and be strong. His heart was crushed, and he wished he could have been there by her side to console her. He knew he couldn't go along with the flow, otherwise he won't be able to help her. So he took a couple a deep breath, calmed down and talked with her. She was very very stressed, and she was at her limits. He knew he had to get back on her feet, otherwise she'll only suffer more. So, he played reverse psychology on her. He offered to help her with her work to help ease her load a little and so that she can get some sleep. But she wanted to do some work too, and they were up for quite a while before she turned in to sleep. He stayed up a little longer to make sure he finished his part.

Whilst being busy and all at work, one thought just could not leave him - Was she alright? He prays and hopes that she is alright. Knowing he can't do much, he continued on with his work. The quicker and faster he could finish, the more time he could spend being on standby for her in the event she needs someone, or just help her out.

By end of the day, he was exhausted. All he hope for was the effort in his work would eventually pay out. It is the closing week of accounts after all, so he need to make sure all necessary works have been accounted for. He just drops her a couple of messages hoping that she'll be alright. Then, continued on with his minor exercises and nightly prayers for her before sleeping.

Day #18 & #19

I really don't know how to put this in words for these 2 days... The story has really turned complicated. All I can say is that the story line could have been simpler, if he didn't let silly things happen. I am surprised by how it went up and *whistles* down to the drain.


She texted him, wondering if he would like to hang out during the weekends to accompany her to do some work. Well, of course he'd like to. Had to make a couple of arrangements to move his plans around. And that's what he did. What he didn't realized was that it was a chance. (Think anyone could have figured out? *facepalm*)

Saturday ended pretty quickly, and by the end of the day, he felt they could start talking already and he thought they'll be cool again. Came Sunday, she asked if he want to help her with the remaining parts of her work, and he figured why not. Now, for some unknown reasons (must be anything stupid), when they hung out, he was hardly even present (stoning away, they say). The basic fundamentals of greeting & serving people seemed foreign to him that day. (Get ready to facepalm) What's worse is that the words that comes out from his mouth was "poisonous" and irreversible. He made fun of things he shouldn't have to, and he somehow gave "cold shoulders" to people without realizing it himself.*double facepalm*

She was unhappy. She really is. Being honest, she shared with him the things that he could have done better, if he did intend to make a move on her. When he finally realizes his mistakes, he was stupefied. He blew it. And to double that cripple effect, he now knows how come his previous actions made her unhappy. (I'm going OMGWTF-is-wrong-with-him!!).


I feel like slapping him already. He is probably the dumbest guy around, who didn't realize it until it was gone. The reason I'm taken away is that he was mind-blank most of the time, thinking that it was just a casual outing between friends. Being naive can kill you.

Nevertheless, he got to his senses (Oh, finally! *a sense of relief*) and he now wants to make it up to it. He knows what went wrong (hopefully) and he's already on the go. He wouldn't say how or what he'll do, he just know it'll be done, and that she'll be able to see him for the better.

Day #17

It's Friday already, and he was smiling as he goes to office. Even though he was caught up in a long jam, and was questioned by his superiors why he didn't arrived as early as he promised, he was still in a good mood. 'Cause he knew something big is coming his way. He was geared up for the day.

He got in and out of meetings from one location to another. With one good news after another. Seems like he'll meet his expectations within the month after all! At the same time, because of the adrenaline he is having, he didn't have much of an appetite and rather he was feeling very full the whole day.

After his final meeting, he had to go back to office to do some reporting on the activities for that day. There were some misunderstandings, but thankfully he managed to resolve them in time. His superiors were pleased with his works and could see that he had placed a lot of effort in them. They wanted to make sure he gets the deal done, so that it would be easier on him.

Then, it's after working hours, where by he headed out to yet anothe new party in town! Spend another few hours letting loose of the tension that has been built over the days, got himself a couple of drinks, a whole lot of smoke surrounding him, and then he went home relaxed and relieved.

He wanted to puff a couple of cigs but didn't manage to. But it was close enough, he smelled bad enough that he had to do a long shower before he sleeps

Day #16

Closing into the weekend, time's really ticking off the clock. Pressure is piling up as he is short of time to deliver some results before the month ends. It's a tough time for him and his clients. From morning till evening, he had to push hard to close his clients on the package deal that supposedly was signed weeks ago (his clients' boss had some approval issues).

But good waves came about as well. It came in between his work. One of them was something beyond his expectation. He received a text message from his bestie! After many text and voicemails, he got a reply from his bestie - for dinner! He hadn't seen his bestie in a very long while - it's almost a year or so. They had a good chat and catch up over dinner. After dinner, they had an adventure hunting for each other's car. Guess some things never change.

After that, he headed off to a party downtown. Other than the new year's eve party previously, he hadn't let loose in a while. He needed something to just break free from the tension built. And that night, he did. Booze and boom-boom music got rid of a lot of negatives within him. But the night wasn't always going to stay young for him, and he had a lot of work to do the following day - meetings and meetings!

Before he knew it, it was past 2am when he got home. Prepared for tomorrow's meals and work, then he did some minor exercises and finished off the night with simple and quiet prayers for her.

Day #15

Whilst yesterday's result was pretty good, today's result was a little sappy. Although half the day was filled with meetings, leaving him with only second half of the day to do some real work, he didn't give up an inch. He made sure he was on full throttle till the end of the day.

He is under immense pressure from work, and there's pretty much nothing that he can do, except to show some results in numbers if he wanna get off the hook. Though he hasn't been working for long, but he is aware of one thing which is, this is the first time that he had put in great effort but not much of results were showing.

Gave it a good thought while working his time, and figured it could be in his approach and also self-talk. He decided to spend some good time in fine-tuning his approach and also his self-talk about his clients. At this point of time, he couldn't think of anything else besides his office work. And so he devised and revised his work plans. He doesn't mind getting scolded or sacked at work, because he knows his superiors and seniors are doing it for his own good. He felt if that could help him get results, by all means he'd welcome all the scolding *rolls eyes*.

Stayed back for another few hours to finish prepping his work ahead of time. Went back home, feeling all tired, he still managed to get some time to do some minor work out. "All goals are aligned and in progress to achievement!" and that's what he said to himself. Then, just before he sleeps, he silently said a prayer for himself and for her. That one moment that became a special thing for him to do before he snoozes each night.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Day #14

Went to work, got bombarded with meetings. They weren't the best of meetings, but he knew it was his fault. He hadn't been performing up to par as he thought he could. Somehow he felt draggy and it's for the past 2 months. He was told he had to buck up and to go at the least of 200-300% performance level in order to catch up. And it's about time he did something. Otherwise it wouldn't be too long for him, before he needs to hunt for another job. That is of course, his last resort.. but he wouldn't go down without a fight!

Be a man, do the right thing!

He had to revise his plans and actions for office work. And he knows there's no other option but to double the activities that he is doing. So here goes nothing, he's gonna have to put it all up, at least for the next 2 months if he wants to stay in the game.

Okay that's a lame pun (>.<")

It would be a good time to get his head in the game, and focus on priorities first. For the next couple of weeks, he'll be carefully scrutinized on his activities at work place, to get maximum results from his efforts. Also good for him, 'cause he wants to know what areas he could further improve on. This two-way thing between his superior and him, would be a healthy development.

"Together we can do it team!" that's what the boss said =D

Who doesn't want good results right?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Day #13

Another Monday has rolled up. He made it a little different than usual. He woke up early to go to the market to buy some vegetables for his whole day meal. He is on a mission to regulate his food intake with aims to increase muscle mass the healthy way.

Went to work, did as much as he could. Ate as good as he would. Some good news turn about, and some didn't. He made a couple of appointments that evening. One of his appointment was an interesting sharing of business concept, but unfortunately the catch wasn't attractive for him. Another idea caught his attention - but it would take up his night time away for a couple of nights weekly. He thought it would be a great chance to explore new market opportunities as well as get to know different circle of friends.

No harm getting to know more friends right?

He thinks of it as a new challenge, and if it works it'll be great. Otherwise, it'll be an experience for him =)

Monday, January 14, 2013

Day #12

Got up early to join his buddy at breakfast and follow his friend to the workshop to get his car checked on the air conditioner. Apparently after the recent accident, the car air-cond wasn't cold and had a rather unpleasant sound when switched on. He had to get it done 'cause it's his primary car for business and work.

Much to his relief it was only low on gas, but he was rather upset to learn about the cheapskate work that was done by another workshop during the claim period. He was told that it's the usual practice for many unethical workshop out there who wants to make a high margin profit due to the to many competition in the market. He was advised to get his car serviced soon, just to be on the safe side.

Pop the bonet up, plug it to some cables.
An hour plus later, air conditioner was great!

After that, went back, did some work and snoozed a little until it was dinner time. Woke up with an infected sore eye. Couldn't do much, he just had to cool off the eye with some ice packs.

Behold the eye!
His eye was redder than this =(

The cooling pack for his eyes came in very handy

He fell asleep soundly while his eyes were cooling off

A pretty mundane day it has been for him, and he just wandered off in thoughts. A light bulb moment for him came about. He looked into the mirror and figured since he had trim down most of the fats he had, it would be a good time to start building up muscle mass and get buffer. He remembered some tips from his personal training friends, and starts to work out a plan. As he doesn't have gym access (and doesn't plan to get one), he'll need to make do of what he has at home. Someone told him that he shouldn't go any smaller, otherwise that someone would look bigger than him. He'll probably use that as a kick-start motivation.

Wow this picture is perfect to depict his situation!

He is not too greedy, this would be good enough
Muscle mass +5kg will help

This would be a bonus - a little more defined.
Here muscle mass should be +8kg will do it for him.

So he has got 5-8kg worth of muscles to build if he wants to get those defined shape. Not impossible, just some discipline and hard work.

(wondering if he has time for it, since he is already bogged down by his business and work. Let's see how he'll fare in plan.)

Song: Keith Urban (Tonight I Wanna Cry)

Here's something to my buddies whom have poured out our hearts to each other, let's make a toast (virtual one will do *Smiles*) and to a certain girl in mind:

If you can't play it here, you'll just need to go head on to YouTube instead.
This is some restrictions from their site I guess.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

How Much is Your Health Worth?

"Health should not be something you wanna put a price tag on. Do whatever it takes to get into better health, not for today, tomorrow or next week. But for the years to come and the times you really wanna be in health to enjoy the sweet and precious moments." Jeffrey Ong, Lifestyle Consultant

Have you heard of people who frequently or casually say "We only live once", "Life is short", or even "We all die anyways"? I have. And I had been once of those who say it on a daily basis.

We can't tell how long we'll live, or short our straws are...
So why not take a good bet on our health and make it count?

While that maybe true, the big question is really "What if you were given a longer life than others? You couldn't die as early as you think, what then?" That question struck me over half a year ago, when I witness a family relative passed away while suffering major health complications.

We often take things for granted, especially our health, don't we? We get influenced by others who don't know the value of their own lives, and we start putting a price tag on ours. We eat cheap, work long hours, sleep less, exercise rarely and yet we expect to live healthy. You don't? Good for you then. I'm talking to the ones who don't, but complain about their health every now and then.

If you can work them all, then you'll be truly health.
But even 1/3 of that is a good start.

Everything we do, affects our health

My health coach once told me, "You can't expect to buy a gym membership, not doing anything and hoping you'll slim down or buff up. A few classes don't cut it either." Ring a bell, people?

There's lot of information online and there a number of qualified health advisors and coaches. Don't just ask for information, and store it away. Don't say it's expensive, when really what lies ahead is in the values of longevity over the next few decades.

Stop falling back into the trick of price tagging solutions and looking for the cheapest way out. WAKE UP, there is NO SHORTCUT to health. HEALTH IS NOT CHEAP. If it is, wouldn't everyone be healthy today? Wouldn't organic food be more affordable? Think about it!

It's like comparing Bata shoes to Zara shoes. Preve to Mercedes Benz. Kelisa to Mini Cooper.      (No offense to Bata, Proton or Perodua fans)

How much has surgical operations and medicine fees increased over the recent years? Would you prefer to go onto the hospital bed? Or would you like to take some preventive measures starting now?

Look it up yourself at one of a published article: Rising Pressure of Healthcare CostIt is believed that medical inflation is going at about the average of 12% per annum - High Medical Inflation Rates

What you do today - eat, live, work or sleep - doesn't affect tomorrow, the day after or next week. It might not even do anything next month. But it'll come back to you in the most unwanted circumstances through compounded effects, with interest. Look around us, especially those in the late 30s, mid 40s or early 50s. How many of them are in good shape? Ask yourself then, what condition would you like to be in when you're at 50?

Which situation would you rather be in when you're 50 and above?

My point is, being healthy takes effort, some money and a change of lifestyle. Would you place a price tag on your life? How much would your life be worth?

Here's some freebies for you, all the way from Harvard School of Public Health:
Healthy Eating Pyramid

Day #11

Morning came; it just felt strange and awkward for him. Somehow he had his first instincts to text her, but quickly recalled that it's just not it. (So much for his standings, pfft!). He picked up his phone, looked at it and just chucked it aside. He realizes he had more feelings to her, than he had expected. He inhaled and exhaled the worries out, and went on with his day.

He spent some time in the morning to reflect on things

Took his mum to the physician early in the morning. His mum's arm was injured a few years back, but he thought she was okay after the several treatments from the local hospital. His mum even went for a couple sessions of physiotherapy. But this time around, he was sure it was no small muscle inflammation. Got it checked out, and it was as he expected, it was a muscle injury that didn't healed fully back then. It only been subdued, but didn't get a chance to fully recuperate. A few hours there, and his mum says he felt so much better. The physician said a few more sessions and proper rest, and his mum would be alright. During this period, he recalled about her and her back pain - similar situations no? She had her back injured, and until now from time to time, she still faces pain. It could be the same. He again wanted to text her, but he remembered she just needed space. Hence, he looked at the phone and just hid it inside his pocket.

Occasionally, his mum says she has a discomfort or sharp pain at the elbow.

She was provided with a cooling pad as well as a support pad for her elbow.
I think the physician mentioned that its good to distribute the elbow stress.

Worried, but unable to do anything.
He just has to keep it in thoughts, with simple prayers every night.

Later that afternoon, he had a business meeting with his partners. He needed to plan out the days ahead and strategize on their marketing plans. After 2 hours of solid and fruitful discussion, he had gained much clarity and was ready to make his move. Analyzing his current financial status, he knew what he had to do next. He had plans - this year, next 2 years, and coming 5 years. He had regained his focus. All he need is much discipline and motivation. He thought of her, and he knew that his time would be better off focusing on what will help him in the future, and at the same time... wait for her. He knows he can't just let it go, it would be pointless trying to forget about it - he'll never be able to get over her, if he tries to do so; a strange yet funny mechanism, isn't it? So, he decided that he'll just wait it out.

Ideas were thrown on the table.
They talked about branding and marketing strategy.
Serious business!

They had to look into short term and long term profits.
A proper business plan includes action plans, milestones and visions.

Time is of the essence.
Delay progress, delay rewards.
But it's not instant at all, it's all about delayed gratification =)

He doesn't have much hopes placed on the wait, but he knew that something good's going to happen. It always does =)

Gotta always feel like a million bucks, if you wanna attract a million bucks!

[Good comes to those who wait (and of course, they must do their part) with good faith.]

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Day #10

Couldn't sleep as well as he wanted to, but he woke up slightly clear on what to do ahead. Yeah somehow he managed to do some thinking during his sleep. He knew he had to do something about it, otherwise his day would be pretty much screwed. (Am sure no one appreciates a guy who can't get a hold of himself). He decided that to work things out one at a time. That first thing for the day is to go to work and get things done!

Thanks Chuck! You gave him courage, LOL

Whilst getting to his first appointment, he got stuck in a jam for an hour. Being late is one thing, but he had a feeling that the other appointment might be off. True enough for him, when he did a checking on the next appointment. A lil' let down, but he knew he would have time for the remaining works at office, before the big company meeting.

At office, he got a message from her. She told him that he had gotten it all wrong - it's not a goodbye message, it's just merely a "give me some space". *facepalm* How could he have misread that message? *double facepalm* What a turnaround and he exhaled in relief! Well, he understood that, but didn't know what to reply he just sent in a smiley. He then realized that his approach actually created unnecessary pressure for her. All she needs at this moment is just a friend who cares for her, and not some guy whose going after her.

Couldn't had done worse than he already did.

The awkward moment...

So, he made another decision that day - respect her decision, give her space, and be a friend when she needs him. It'll be a little hard and awkward to just reverse things, so he sent her a friendly message just to tell her that if he's always a text or a call away, if she needs a listening ear.

Ain't he a sweetheart? =P
he's the white one obviously!

He hopes she knows this.

Well actually, he isn't unhappy that it happened, rather much glad that he got to experience a situation like this at early stage. He figured, he might land himself in this kinda situation in the near future, when the lady has her monthly moments. "Why wait till then right?" is what he had in his mind. So, all he has to do is just back off, way off. She'll talk or text when she wants to. After all, once a lady indicates "I need space", it's probably too late for any guy to come about - He's guessing that her interest level in him at the current moment would be pretty low already (with what he interprets as groveling, it kills any chance at all), better not jeopardize it to the point of no return. Trying to fix things might just worsen the situation, and unless her interest level in him goes up a notch, it's just best to let time play into its course.

This picture resembles very much of her..
He knows what's on lingering on her mind, and it'll probably take a longer time to get over the past.
He's gonna give her some space and some time for himself to work on other things.

This is what will happen if he pushes or doesn't know how to chill.
God forbids this to happen; he smart enough to barely made it out alive.

He states that he is not the conventional person.
She'll see in time =)

This is something that happened to pop up on his screen,
while he was searching for other graphics.
He find this very meaningful =)

(So how what will come about on the days ahead? He doesn't have a clue yet, but he's sure something will come about. He's positive *smiles* and confident about it)

Nuff' said =P

Friday, January 11, 2013

Day #9

Not having a good sleep at all, really got to him. He was just in one of the worst of his days. He had a bad feeling on how the day would go, but immediately came up with lots of happy thoughts and bright new moments he'll be having when things go well. That lifted up the mood for him.

It's the only way to brighten up the day =)

At work, he just "stepped on the gas pedal" and "went the distance". Although it wasn't much of his expected results with his clients, he couldn't care less and just went on doing what he do best. The day went on pretty fast, and then it was time to get off work. He didn't get a single text from her since the night before. He anticipated for the worst the come.

Full speed ahead!!

May things go well...

Acknowledging that it might be a troublesome night, it was pretty quiet for him. Took the night to reflect on what's happening so far, and to take a good look on how he'll be moving forward. Doing so, he soon fell asleep in the midst of his plannings. He expected something to happen, anything at all. But nothing did. His mind was wandering about, and he just laid his head on his pillow. And felt asleep without realizing it.

Woke up in the middle of the night to find a text from her. He might have thought it's a loud shout, or fair warning, or anything as such. Never would he thought it would be PONR (Point of No Return). His surprises the day before might have gave her a little too much pressure, or scared her off. But she was still very nice to the end of the text. By then he knew, that's it and no more. Not more could he do, nor offer. Even being friends may make her feel awkward.

Pass this point, and all is devastated

feewwwww ~~ *sounds fading off*
thump! *sound of the red heart hitting the bottom of the bin*

It wasn't that bright at all.
It was pitch black then.

It didn't take him even 10 days for this to happen... It's over. Well, technically nothing started. But realizing that, makes him feels even worse.

Mmmm mmmm...

(Guess the story has to stop now, eh? ...
Well, even if it's only him, the show MUST go on!
Going ahead, it'll be about him and his journey to the ... west~ LOL no freaking way!
Okay that was lame, but it did made him feel a little better.
Think he'll be alright when morning comes, hopefully)

Hey, can't just stop 'cause of some hurdles right? =)

Thursday, January 10, 2013

What Can You Do If You Can't Cry It Out?

A friend of mine shared with me, that he is unable to cry out his despair and stress, unlike so many others. All he knew and was ever taught is just to "put a sock in it", "suck it in", and "man up". At his pit-moments, he wants to cry his heart and scream his lungs out, but he never had a place he could do so. So what he always did instead was to pile up with more work to rid himself of the misery. Days, months and eventually years passed by and without realizing, he had shield away his emotions. By the time he realizes it, he had actually distanced himself from many around him, including his family. Today, he struggles to work to open up to others. But from time to time, he has been put to a lot of challenges - financial, career, relationship, and self belief. Solving one after another, it almost seems endless to him. He feels pressured, and almost very tensed all the time. He just doesn't know how to go about it. He's been troubled by it and everything just seems "foggy".

I don't know how to help him, but just to be around him - like a shadow, not uttering a word but present around the subject. Many times have I suggested ways to relax, to be laid back, to not expect too highly of himself, but nothing has gone through. I could only watch him go on day by day. I'm happy for each time he gets back up on his two feet, but my worries grow each time he falls back down, because it seems harder and deeper in he falls. I really hope I could help him, but I don't know how. All I can do, is just to stand by him.

Do you have a friend in similar situation? What can I do to help my friend out? How can I help, other than just being there?

Day #8

Things are yet to go back to normal, not especially when his primary car is still at the workshop and he has to send him mum to work every morning before he goes into office. He got in work late, due to slow traffic, but he had anticipated it. She woke up late (got to work late too) and she was not happy. He learns that her boss wasn't that all nice with her, and was told to be a little cautious while talking her - no one should ever piss a lady in rage, not unless you wanna get burned.

he bet that's her expression throughout most of the day.
He was bogged down by the loads of work that seems never ending. So he placed more concentration at work, whilst at the same time, just hoping that she's alright (though he knew that she'll be able to handle things well by herself). Nearing the end of the day, as he still in the midst of his work, she was nearly going ballistics. Unsure of what he can do to make her feel better, he just did up a simple surprise for her. He made the necessary plannings to accommodate the surprise. Like all plans, they need to be executed. And so he did.

That's not him, but that's how he looked like planning the surprise.
He dropped by her office after his last meeting. Quickly he wanted to pass the parcel to her colleague to have it given to her, but he was spotted before he could make a run for it. Hoping she'd be at least a little taken away by his efforts, it turns out he could have gotten a better timing - she was in fumes, and somehow his surprise didn't help one bit. A little disappointed, he understands how she felt - He's been there, he knows that some things even though for good intention, but at the wrongest time, don't look good one bit. He apologized for it.

A couple of text sent to her to apologize for his actions,
but not for his intentions.
He was out knocked out cold on his bed as soon as he got home - had to forgo all his later meetings because he had splitting headaches, and was non-stop coughing. Waking up hours later due to sleeping in wrong position, he had something light to bite and went back to bed. Then, he woke up again just before mid night for unknown reasons, and he couldn't go back to sleep. Though with his head still feeling light, he couldn't fall asleep. So, he spent time just polishing up some unfinished works, just reflecting on what had happened, and what he is going to do.

Despite disliking them, they were his only solution at the point of time.

This is too comfortable a position; He woke up with some numb limbs.
Read a message she posted, it seems she had gotten the wrong impression about him. He didn't feel the need to explain to her, not especially recalling how she reacted earlier; he only sent in an apology message. He had no intention of impressing her or showing off his creativity ('cause he knew he was creative enough =P). He just thought what he did, had a slight chance of making her feel better, so followed his heart and took a chance (but, obviously it didn't go well). He realized his actions might have dissed her (she said it before, but he ignored and went ahead with it), but there's nothing he could really do except just hoping she'd be in a better mood to talk later.

Yup, that's the situation alright, or maybe worse.

There's just too many things going on in his head.. 

Pray hard ...
oh, but he didn't forget his daily prayers for her =)

(the following days would be mundane, but who knows what might happen. He only hopes for the best.)

Possibly scenario? Well, if it happens, it'll be an epic chapter too.

That's right =)