Leaving A Legacy Behind

Have you thought of what would be for you, at the end of the day? What would have achieved by then? How would you like others to see you as?


I know these are deep questions, but I believe they are the good type of deep. The reason why I have these questions is because I came to realize that whatever I am doing now, will be reflected in the future and they affect how others think of me. Some people may not be bothered about it now, but really, when the time comes they'll understand what I'm talking about. Imagine 10-20 years from now, what would you want your kid, family and friends to see you as? I would definitely want to be their hero! I wish to be their inspiration and also role model as a living example of someone who is able to fulfil his promises and achieve his defined targets. Someone respectable. The legacy of Jeffro!


Why this is crucial? Because at the end or towards the end of my life, I want to be remembered by others. I may suffer from Alzheimer, Amnesia, or the other type of memory-depreciating diseases, but what's important to me, is that others would remember me for what I've accomplished, the difference I made, the smiles and laughter I created, the lives I've impacted and the inspiration to others that I've become.

What would your legacy be?

How would you like it to be?

PORN IS NOT GLAMOROUS! GET THE FACTS RIGHT!

Porn Industry Statistics

• 36 porn stars died that we know of from HIV, suicide, homicide and drugs between 2007 and 2010.
• 66% of porn performers have Herpes, a non-curable disease.
• 2,396 cases of Chlamydia and 1,389 cases of Gonorrhea reported among performers since 2004.
• Over 100 straight and gay performers died from AIDS.
• 26 cases of HIV reported by Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation (AIM), since 2004.
• 70% of sexually transmitted infections in the porn industry occur in females according to County of Los Angeles Public Health.
• Chlamydia and Gonorrhea among performers is 10x greater than that of LA County 20-24 year olds.
• The largest group viewing online pornography is ages 12 to 17.
• More than 11 million teens regularly view porn online.
• There are 4.2 million pornographic websites, 420 million pornographic web pages, and 68 million daily search engine requests.
• 50% of men and 20% of women in the church regularly view porn.
• Of 1351 pastors surveyed, 54% had viewed Internet pornography within the last year.
• Of all known child abuse domains, 48 percent are housed in the United States.
• At the 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, a gathering of the nation’s divorce lawyers, attendees revealed that 58% of their divorces were a result of a spouse looking at excessive amounts of pornography online.
• Child pornography is one of the fastest growing businesses online, and the content is becoming much worse. In 2008, Internet Watch Foundation found 1,536 individual child abuse domains.
• Worldwide pornography revenue in 2006 was $97.06 billion. Of that, approximately $13 billion was in the United States.

Seconds thoughts of porn stars now? Even the religious people aren’t that holy after all (and that’s the US only). For those that think about how awesome having sexual intercourse that earns you big bucks, think again! They’ve got more worries than you’ll ever have at your comfortable desk, office or home!

Source: www.shellylubben.com

What Makes You Happy?

“The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness”

So what are you in pursuit of?

What are you chasing there?

What is happiness?

We'll Knock 'em Doors!

Opportunity is a unique thing - a thing that everyone searches for and for everyone, it appears in different forms and comes in different manner. How so? Simple as it sounds I'll just refresh your minds on 'Opportunity'

"The window of opportunity"

"Opportunity is knocking on your door"

"You found an opportunity!"

But with that being said, some of us just can't seem to find this "Opportunity" or know what "Opportunity" is. Fret not! Don't wait for it to appear or hunt something that you can't see/smell/hear (yes, in some cases people have said "I smell opportunity around the corner" or even "I hear opportunity's foot-stepping towards my front door"). Believe it or not, everyone will come across this opportunity but at different times, and for those who can't wait for that time to come, well what more can I say than, make the time yours! Do whatever it takes to get a breakthrough in whatever you're doing or I should say "Opportunity" in anyway...

Well, it's my way of saying:

"If Opportunity don't come knocking on your door or window,
then knock on Opportunity's door instead!"

You'd be surprised in what you may find then

=)

First Impressions

As normal humans, we are all about first impressions by nature – while many of us like or love to look good in front of others, there are those who are not bothered by how they may appear. But nevertheless, all of us subconsciously will tend to be impressed upon seeing a good appearance of something or someone. Only difference between one person and the other is how long it takes until this subconscious is overruled or overridden by our own reality. For example, despite how much a person says he or she don’t judge others by their looks, that person for a split moment will be impressed if others are all dressed in creative or well-mannered fashion, and will be disgusted by dirty and filthy looking people. Perhaps if that person has a strong mind, in an instant those thoughts would vanish and his or her senses of his or her own reality returns. There’s nothing wrong with anyone who prefers looks over anything, and vice versa, because that is what we are – human.

Bear in mind that regardless of what you think, you should always dress, act and respond properly because even though you don’t mind your looks, others just might mind it. Think of it from another point of view; if you can get things done easily, why make things difficult for yourself? Unless you’re the M-type or in some cases S-type, then just ignore what I mentioned. I’m only referring to the general humans, not to any specific person.

Long time ago, back when I was still a kid, I too initially thought that appearance, looks or even first impressions are overrated, so long you’re good on the inside, it doesn’t matter what it looks like on the outside. But I was very wrong. As I grew up, I slowly yearn for things that look nicer than others, unless I can’t afford it. Funny is that, even for the cheap and affordable items, I still look for the outstanding ones rather the old and dirty or the less shiny ones. I’m not sure if you’re the same, but if you truly the ones that don’t matter bother about appearance, then you shouldn’t have thought nor done the way I did.

Going into my teen days and finally into adulthood, my opinions of first impressions grew stronger, as I saw its “power”, or rather possibilities and opportunities it may bring. This is not a statement, but a fact that is proven over and over again. When I’m in my casual and friendly attitude, many would see me as approachable and easy to get along with. But when I’m in my formal attire, even with friendly attitude, many would see me as a more serious person and would only approach if there’s something important despite my friendliness. That’s just an example of many trials I’ve tried.

If you don’t believe it, try it for yourself. Get a simple makeover or just put on some new clothes, put a friendly or serious gesture and expression, you’ll experience what impressions can offer you.

Fate, Life or Decision?

Each one of us goes through tough and rough times. Some of face the same problem almost everyday, some may confront challenges that occurs in the chance of one in a millionth, while others may easily bypass these problem without much efforts.

But it all comes down to whether is it our individual fate that had already been decided, or life's just like that, or the decision we make that had led us into that struggle. I've witness and also encountered certain problems in which I'd normally say "I think it's fate, you know... No matter what I do, it just never goes my way... Maybe I'm not made for it..." I've been told whenever something wrong happens that "Shit happens... Life's a bitch... Live with it or die without it..." Not to forget when I sometimes make mistakes, and they tend to 'cause severe damage (hurt someone's feeling so deeply, financial loss, etc) and I'd get, "It was your choice, you should have seen it coming..." I don't know which is which.

Well, I'm curious, what about other people in the world? What do they see it as? Was it really fate, and that we can never beat our fate? Is it life that we can stereotype telling everyone the same thing, just because it happens all the time? Or is it our individual choices and decision that led us to misery and suffering? Which is which?

Don't get me wrong, this is not about pointing fingers or trying to blame something when things go wrong (but I assure you, for whatever situation, anyone and everyone will need to blame someone - whether it is oneself or another; otherwise we will not have a reason to do anything at all) But what could possibly be the reason behind the misfortunes? Is there such thing as luck? Or Miracles? Or is it just plain hard-worked efforts? Can things turn around, for the better, should we try and change stuffs as it is into something else?

I can't really say what is and what is not, and I'm certainly in no position to assure that one's fate cannot be change, life is always unfair or one doesn't have the choice at all. What I can say is that, for as long as I'm alive...

I will continue fighting on, pushing forward, even if it's against my fate and all odds...
Because it is my own life, and nobody else's, giving me the power to govern my own rules and principals...
For this is the decision I've chosen and made, and I shall live with it...

Simply because I believe there's something favorable on the other side...

How about you? I mean try take some time and give it a thought.
What has it been for you? Would you want to try and change it?
What approach would you take?

Opinions vs View Points

You'd probably wonder what's the difference? Of course there's a difference. allow me to explain them in a bit. Before doing so, I know there are many of us who have our opinions on how some matters should be handled, but my question to you, what do you do with those opinions? You keep them to yourselves (saving it for a "rainy day" perhaps)? You chuck it aside? You carry forth and make a difference? What do you do?

Alright so as I've mentioned there are differences. Not only literally that they differ from spelling, the letter count, the arrangement, but also the meaning behind them.

Opinion = What you think on a certain matter.
For example, what is your opinion on the newly introduced special coach for women?

View Point = Perspective of a matter.
Ever heard of "From my point of view, ..."?

Still don't get it? Well it's simple, when asked for an opinion, it can be from the same view point, just different ideas/suggestions/thoughts are produced. However, when talking about view points, it's referring to how you see a matter - from what angle of perspective/position/aspect.

In short, when it comes to opinions, you and I would be thinking from the same point of view, just different ideas and from there we could combine or fuse them into a better one. Let's take "Is Internet dangerous?" and we both say 'No' to that statement while giving different reasons (could be similar, or even the exact same answers too, but at one point there'll be differences). When it comes to view points, it'll definitely result in different opinions. For instance, on a matter of "Is stress is good for you?", you'd probably say no and I'll say the opposite.

I hope it's clearer now. It's a very thin line that differs them apart. The next time when someone asks you about your opinions and view points, don't simply rush to conclusion and say it's the same thing. Lollipop and gumballs are candies but they're not the same thing.

So, here's the last question for you, what have you done or what are you going to do about your opinions (whichever that applies)?

Desires & Priorities..

*sits down*

I'm a student at the moment, and as I go through this difficult phase of life (studies, assignment and exams), I come to realize that I don't really like the things I'm studying. Maybe it's because of the syllabus and "reinventing the wheel" where I could be practicing other more essential things. But I guess, everyone faces this problem.

What I come to know is that I desire to learn about other things - arts of photography, graphics editing, web design & development, consultancy in both IT and business, so on. I found out that I have better interest in other stuffs rather than what I have now. But with so much interest in others and lacking of interest, what am I to do?

Now here's the important thing, as much as I like to venture into other fields, I know the priority now is to focus on what I have in hands, because it determines what will become of me. I can't let myself stray away from what I'm suppose to do. My desires are to be pursued once I'm done with all these.

Then again, wouldn't that be too late for it by then? If everything is done stage by stage, I might end up slower than others, and losing in competition with others and myself. How? Do I stop what I'm doing (because it's doesn't seem to benefit me in anyway) and pursue what I want (because I develop passion towards them)? Many questions, but only one answer - balance them up, without giving any of them up!

So I decided to continue on this tough journey of mine, as a training for mental toughness, patience to await results and also planning of time and work management. At the same time, I'll slowly pursue what I'm interested in, taking one step at a time, yet doing in such that it wouldn't clash with my journey. I've to set my focus properly, even if it's a deviated focus. I'm lacking of time, and may even lack more time, since I've decided to take up all these "luggage" but I think it'll be worth it all at the end.

It may seem crazy and all, but I'd think to fulfill my responsibilities and achieve my ideal future, this is something I have to do. *looks up to the sky* I think my gloomy and cloudy days, will soon be clear... And with that, I would not give up. Watch me people, I'll prove it to you and make you acknowledge me.

"Balance your desires and priorities,
without giving up any of them"

"What goes around, will come around,
if not, MAKE them.
Effort is worth everything in the end."

"Failure maybe something unpleasant,
but giving up is worse than failing,
for fear of failing makes you a failure,
without benefit of a doubt.
If you don't succeed the first time,
try again, even if it means never ending,
coz when you start a journey,
you must complete it, and
if you can't go through it,
go around it, below it, above it.
Everything has a solution."

Tough Decision..

A good friend of mine, called me earlier because he was confused about what to do next, fearing every step may lead to a bad conclusion. He was kinda messed up, I suppose, but I guess that would be my case too, in I were to be in his shoes.

Here's the situation: My friend (well let's call him Jimmy) is studying for his final year at the moment. Jimmy is not from a well-to-do family, but he has been working on and off to earn some side income to help support himself, and lessen the burden for his family. So a few days back, Jimmy's mother had resigned from her current job of which she wasn't feeling too good about. Jimmy told me that his mother had been complaining about the stress and pressure she faced at work. Honestly that part, I have no words to help him. All I could do was listen to him, until he came up with some suggestions, which I had no choice but to get involved with.

He wanted to quit college, and start working to support his family. I asked him why? He said that if he quits now, it wouldn't be a problem as he was offered jobs by a few companies of which he has put to consideration first. The only worry would be is the college fees contract he is bonded to - if Jimmy breaches the contract, he'll have to pay everything at once. But if he stays and continue his final year, it'll take him another year before graduation. And as he states, Jimmy is facing the same problem like I do, getting his project done up and to cope up with his other subjects.

What I told him was to continue on the studies no matter what, since it's only a year. However, what he had on mind was either to focus less on the studies and work at the same time, or simply quit college and start career. Jimmy states because he is currently facing financial problems and with his mother's lost of job, he may face even bigger problems within the year itself. He fears that any further efforts in college would go to waste if he continues. I stood strong with my advice to him with reasons - if you don't complete this no matter what, everything that you've done since the beginning will be even a bigger waste. You would even waste and trash the hopes of others that have put upon you. Finally he settled down, and then hung up.

I don't know whether my advice was correct or not, even I'm facing somewhat the same problem like him in studies. Am I right to say that? Or am I a fool that is being too optimistic? *sigh* What a tough decision to make. Jimmy, all best buddy.. I wish I could help more, but I can only hope for the better for you.

Choices...

Just as I was reading one of my friend's post earlier, about pushing too hard to achieve, to please and/or to love, she replied my comment stating that everyone has choices and it is the choices that makes us human.

I do agree with she said, just somewhat when given myself a thought, I believe I only have very limited choices. Each choice that I make contradicts the other(s) that I have, and each one would require me to either put aside somethings or leave them behind.

I've been given the opportunity to make my own choices since I was young, only because no one could choose for me after they have heard the reasons/consequences I give behind each choice. In my life, there are no better choices, as each choice leads to different paths. However, at the same time, there was only one choice to make: To choose, or not to choose at all (and be left behind).

As results of my own choices that I've made, I lost quite the freedom to do many other things. Things that I would like to do, things that I want to do, and things that I have to do. Some people think I'm giving too much of an excuse for not wanting to do something about it, but if they were to know what's the truth behind things, they might be able to understand. However, it's subjective to everyone. As for me, I choose not to tell, because even if I told, nothing could be changed.

I've let go of so many things around me. You name it: somewhat, somehow, somewhere, or something, I believe it's lost. Well I hope I'll be some right choices to make for myself one day, and not for others.

"Life is the sum of all choices"

-Albert Camus

"It is our choices that shows what we truly are,

far more than our abilities"

-Anonymous

"When you have a choice to make and

don't make it, that is in itself a choice"

-William James

"The more I look around and listen,

I realized that I'm not all alone.

We are all facing choices that defines us.

No choice. However, messy is without

importance in the overall picture of our lives.

We all at our own age have to claim something,

even if it's only our own confusion.

I am in the middle of growing up and into myself."

-Sabrina Ward Harrison

Choices...