Friday, March 01, 2013

Day #45

Work went on as usual, with the pace slowly picking up as people are coming back from hometown and have begun work too. Had a couple of appointments, he was in and out of the office and client site.

There is a special dinner gathering that evening. Good news there'll be good home cook food (specially cooked by her). Bad news is that she'll be there with someone else instead. He knew he would be feeling awkward there, so he decided to tag his bestie along so that he would have a friend that he could turn to, if things are just too much for him.

So after work, he went to pick his bestie up and headed to the dinner place. They were pretty early, despite going around town searching for a saloon. He had forgotten that it was still a festive celebration period and most places closed early or didn't open at all. Though spending some time going around the area, they still managed to be there on time.

It was indeed an awkward moment for him, but he doesn't want to show it as he knows she might feel bad about it. He met her someone else and casually engage in a conversation. Cracked jokes, casual chats and just not being a sourwuss there, he put on a smiling face the whole time.

Then it was dinner time where they all were seated at a table comfortable enough for the group, but he was almost directly opposite of her and her someone else - that made it almost difficult to look at, nonetheless feeling awkward at that very moment. He placed his focus on his bestie, 'cause that was seemingly the easiest way out. Occasionally, he catches the glimpse of her and her someone else being in such a chemistry, that his heart nearly gave out. Still he couldn't say a word; had mixed feelings - it was between happy-that-she-has-someone-who-cares-about-her-and-can-give-her-the-attention-she-needs but a little unhappy-'cause-he-still-hasn't-gotten-over-it. Somehow, he managed to "survive" through dinner, and still have his smiling face up whilst constantly being in communication with the group. He doesn't want to shut off because that would only create an uncomfortable atmosphere. Knowing that dinner was a gathering amongst friends, he didn't want to spoil it for anyone.

After dinner, they started with card games. He sent his bestie home, and thanked her for being around that evening. His bestie wanted to be there and hoped that he is alright. She got back safely, and he returned to the place. Things could not go anymore awkward than it has already been, or so he thought to himself. She and her someone else is seated opposite of him, again. Indulging himself with card game, trying not to pay attention to her and her someone else, it was a tough game. He had another buddy who arrived at the scene for the card game, felt it was a little awkward as well. Together they were just placing their focus on the cards. Didn't know how he should be reacting, he went weird on his game - upping the numbers and bets as well. But it seemed that luck was on his side that night, he was on a winning streak and it continued on the entire night.

As the card game continued, it got really tough because he could almost not stand the sight of her and her someone else especially when they were in their "zone" (being affectionate). But he knew in his head, that he just had to get it over and done it. He had to endure and break it down, otherwise it would be terrible for him at a later part. That night he took in, swallowed and gobbled down whatever he could. Knowing that was an end, because he finally understood what it was that she was looking for, and that the someone else could give her exactly what she wanted, he had to let himself be crushed - in order to give closure to himself, and be open about it to wish her the best of things.

That night also marks the end of this Project 365. Nothing left to be said. He walked away, moving on and looking forward to yet another chapter in his life.

-lasted 45 days-

 .Project 365 terminated.

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