Thursday, January 10, 2013

What Can You Do If You Can't Cry It Out?

A friend of mine shared with me, that he is unable to cry out his despair and stress, unlike so many others. All he knew and was ever taught is just to "put a sock in it", "suck it in", and "man up". At his pit-moments, he wants to cry his heart and scream his lungs out, but he never had a place he could do so. So what he always did instead was to pile up with more work to rid himself of the misery. Days, months and eventually years passed by and without realizing, he had shield away his emotions. By the time he realizes it, he had actually distanced himself from many around him, including his family. Today, he struggles to work to open up to others. But from time to time, he has been put to a lot of challenges - financial, career, relationship, and self belief. Solving one after another, it almost seems endless to him. He feels pressured, and almost very tensed all the time. He just doesn't know how to go about it. He's been troubled by it and everything just seems "foggy".

I don't know how to help him, but just to be around him - like a shadow, not uttering a word but present around the subject. Many times have I suggested ways to relax, to be laid back, to not expect too highly of himself, but nothing has gone through. I could only watch him go on day by day. I'm happy for each time he gets back up on his two feet, but my worries grow each time he falls back down, because it seems harder and deeper in he falls. I really hope I could help him, but I don't know how. All I can do, is just to stand by him.

Do you have a friend in similar situation? What can I do to help my friend out? How can I help, other than just being there?

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